Overexcitability... Sensual

Did you know that they sell socks without any seams?  These pricey little socks are coveted by many a parent who has a child with a sensual overexcitability.  First, let me state that sensual has nothing to do with "sexual" but rather having to do with the senses.  The best way to describe someone with a sensual overexcitability is to say that they are extremely sensitive to their sensory experiences.

This can be exhibited in many different ways.  For some, it may be more tactile defensiveness.  They might have issues with different textures or if things feel too tight.  This isn't merely a dislike of tags in clothing.  The level of distress experienced by these individuals is well outside what we would view as typical.  My daughter would cry, scream, and act as if she were in pain when encountering something that she perceived as uncomfortable.  She could not walk across a playground or the beach without stopping every few minutes to empty out the contents of her shoes.  As an artist, I would always dread when teachers would want us to work with chalk pastel or charcoal.  The feeling of the material in my hand would literally make my skin crawl.  I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

For others, sensual overexcitability might show up in issues around food.   These children are notoriously picky eaters.  There are so many senses that go into eating a piece of food.  The texture could be too mushy.  The smell might be offensive.  The look might seem disturbing.  The temperature could be uncomfortable.  My daughter does not have this sensitivity... but my son does.  There is no amount of bribery on the planet that will make him eat certain types of foods.  And the issues can sometimes feel extremely arbitrary.  He will not eat melted cheese.   Cheese of a non-melted variety is fine though.  We have walked into restaurants only to have to leave immediately because he smells fish. We don't eat out very often.  Growing up, I had this sensitivity too.  I think my mother finds it amusing that I am now having to deal with it around my son.  It is difficult on mothers when your child refuses to eat.

Another sensitivity maybe around sounds.  I have known many a child who has not been able to use a school restroom because of the sound of the fan or the flushing toilet.  For others, every sound distracts them and makes it difficult to focus.  If an air conditioner or a heater kicks on while I am in a meeting, it will take much doing for me to readjust my attention back to the meeting at hand.   For many children with this sensitivity, the sound of such things as the fire alarm can feel excruciating.  

A visual sensitivity might manifest in everything from feeling overwhelmed in visually chaotic environments to not being able to tolerate for one moment the sun shining in one's eyes.  People would always comment about how my son, even as an infant, would keep on a pair of sunglasses.  Although this might be unusual for most typical children, for a child with a visual sensitivity, sunglasses become not only important but necessary.  

On a positive note, the sensual overexcitabilities have been linked with an increased artistic aptitude. Perhaps the intensity of their senses creates perceptions that spark creativity.  Children with these sensitivities can become easily engrossed in a beautiful piece of music or in looking at a piece of artwork.  If you have a child with this overexcitability, it is important to find ways to utilize the senses as a means of coping. When my children were younger, we would keep a "sensory box" that was filled with items that use sensory information to comfort.  This can include things such as scented clay, squeeze toys, a sensory brush, a soft stuffed animal, bubbles, to beautiful pictures or something that plays music.  If you find that your child has many or possibly all of these sensitivities - and it is making day to day living challenging, it might prove important to have the child evaluated for sensory processing disorder.  Occupational therapy can often help children adapt so that they might better cope with the world at large.  It made a huge difference for my daughter.  

Art therapy can also be super beneficial when working with a child with sensory overexcitabilities.  Through the use of the art materials, discomfort can be explored in the therapy room and coping strategies can be learned in a safe environment.

As parents, these sensitivities can be very challenging.   I can remember my disappointment when I would purchase a beautiful little dress or pair of shoes only to find out that my daughter would refuse to wear them.  And it is frustrating to spend money at restaurants when my son doesn't even touch his plate.  The occupational therapist my daughter saw once told me that even though I may find my children's reactions to such things as histrionic, for my children they are real feelings.   The pain that they are feeling is real.  It isn't something that punishing or rewarding can fix.  It just is the way that they are wired.  Knowing this helps quite a lot.  And our family has learned to make adaptations so that the struggles are less intense.  I use special "ouchless" hair brushes on both my daughter and my son's hair to minimize the amount of screaming.  I found a school that allows my daughter to run around bare footed whenever she pleases.  I have found a small handful of foods that my son tolerates without a battle.  And I have learned that turning socks inside out makes them wearable for my daughter.  I have also learned that when you turn a pair of socks inside out, they are actually a lot more comfortable.