Children with an intellectual overexcitability love the process of learning. They are curious by nature, are constantly asking questions, searching for meanings and patterns, and finding ways to apply their knowledge. They are also often avid readers. When they find a subject that they are interested in, they dive in full body with no interest in wading in the shallow end. They must know every Greek myth, understand all there is to know about dinosaurs, or identify every country where the Snowy Leopard calls home. They have an amazing capacity to remember vivid details about those subjects that capture their interest.
Another common trait among those who have an intellectual overexcitability, is a focus on moral thinking. They feel strongly about ethical and moral issues and will often have passionate opinions about issues of social justice. Although we discussed in the last post how increased feeling of empathy can correlate with a stronger desire for equality, researchers have discovered that often high "justice sensitivity" is most likely connected to logical thinking rather than emotions. It is important to note that these are not always the same opinions as their parents or teachers, which can create challenges. This is also one of the reasons that so many people with an intellectual overexcitability might be labeled as "oppositional" or even misdiagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder. The real difference is that they are not being oppositional for the sole purpose of being oppositional, but rather as a way of forcing conversation. They will often find it extremely uncomfortable to not share an opinion, even if it is not a popular one or could possibly get them into trouble. Another difference is that they are not defiant in all situations. They are also very much able to empathize with those around them and often show a remarkable amount of compassion. In my work, I have seen children diagnosed by other clinicians with such weighty labels as "oppositional defiant disorder" or even "conduct disorder" and then find that they are spending their spare time helping another student learn how to read, are active animal rights activists, or are giving away their lunch to a student without food.
Helping the child with an intellectual overexcitability to understand how they are impacting those around them is also necessary to insure that they have positive social relationships. It can be difficult for friends and teachers if they are constantly being corrected by a well meaning child. It is also difficult for both friends and teachers, when an intensely curious child is constantly interrupting them to ask questions or share information. The child is in no ways meaning to be disrespectful or disruptive, but simply is excited about learning. Nevertheless, it can be a challenging behavior. I have found giving a child a notebook to write down ideas can help a lot in creating a holding place for questions and ideas. Finding educational programs that allow for independent thought and celebrate curiosity is crucial. Assisting children in finding ways to answer their own questions is also important, although I must admit these days my daughter is just as inclined to ask Siri a question as she is me.
Social justice concerns need to be validated. Exploring ways that your child can create change is an important part of helping the child to feel that they have an impact on their world. Otherwise, it becomes easy for the child to feel hopeless. Most communities have lots of volunteering opportunities that you child can get involved in. And if your child sees a need within the community that is not being addressed, brainstorm ways that they can make a difference. Here is a list of ten charities created by children.
Another important task is helping the child find intellectual peers - instead of just age similar peers, because often age similar peers might not be interested in those same things that cause our children joy. Our children end up feeling rejected and "alien". My daughter's love of the story of Odysseus is not something shared by most other eight year olds, but when she is talking to a child or an adult who is a lover of Greek mythology, you can see her entire being brightens and suddenly, she doesn't feel so alone.
Helping the child with an intellectual overexcitability to understand how they are impacting those around them is also necessary to insure that they have positive social relationships. It can be difficult for friends and teachers if they are constantly being corrected by a well meaning child. It is also difficult for both friends and teachers, when an intensely curious child is constantly interrupting them to ask questions or share information. The child is in no ways meaning to be disrespectful or disruptive, but simply is excited about learning. Nevertheless, it can be a challenging behavior. I have found giving a child a notebook to write down ideas can help a lot in creating a holding place for questions and ideas. Finding educational programs that allow for independent thought and celebrate curiosity is crucial. Assisting children in finding ways to answer their own questions is also important, although I must admit these days my daughter is just as inclined to ask Siri a question as she is me.
Social justice concerns need to be validated. Exploring ways that your child can create change is an important part of helping the child to feel that they have an impact on their world. Otherwise, it becomes easy for the child to feel hopeless. Most communities have lots of volunteering opportunities that you child can get involved in. And if your child sees a need within the community that is not being addressed, brainstorm ways that they can make a difference. Here is a list of ten charities created by children.
Another important task is helping the child find intellectual peers - instead of just age similar peers, because often age similar peers might not be interested in those same things that cause our children joy. Our children end up feeling rejected and "alien". My daughter's love of the story of Odysseus is not something shared by most other eight year olds, but when she is talking to a child or an adult who is a lover of Greek mythology, you can see her entire being brightens and suddenly, she doesn't feel so alone.