My Journey

Hi there!  Welcome to my blog.  This is my very first post, which is both exciting and a bit frightening!  This blog is dedicated to all gifted children and adults and the people that love and support them.

Like many others before me, I became interested in the issues related to gifted populations because I was trying to understand my child.  She rolled around before she was three months old.  She walked at nine months old.  At one she spoke well over a hundred words.  But much of her development I believed was due to her temperament.  She needed to always be moving, doing, and investigating.  She rarely ever slept and experienced intense emotions that made for rough parenting early on.  Her sensitivity extended itself to her tactile senses.  It would sometimes take ten tries before I could put her socks on her in a way that she could tolerate - and that was even after we had purchased the seamless variety.   She hated all tags.  There were boxes of beautiful dresses that she refused to wear because there was a seam that was irritating.  I would often worry that the police might come because of the amount of screaming that would happen when I even touched her hair with a brush.

Aside from the sensitivity, I first realized there was something very unique about my daughter just after her second birthday, when she began making art.  I had always felt like it was important to allow her the space to be creative.  She had crayons, markers, and paper readily available… and as long as she didn't draw on the floors or walls, I was happy.  She became a driven artist.  She would go through reams of paper.  It was at two that she began drawing figures and animals.  As she grew older, her artwork became more and more complex.  We would bargain with her in the mornings, so that she would leave her artwork and go to daycare… and then we would bargain again at night, so that she would leave her artwork to go to bed.  The idea of not making art was intolerable to her.  Teachers would often tell me that they had never seen a child so young draw with such proficiency.  And it was easy to understand why she was so skilled.  She was constantly practicing.  While her classmates were learning how to draw circles, our daughter would be drawing entire fairy tales with evil witches, dragons, and princesses.   In the beginning, I tried to save all of her artwork, but quickly, this became an impossible feat.

As a mental health therapist whose specialty has been children, I was accustomed to diagnosing children.  And like many therapist/parents before me - my own child was no exception.  Her constant movement made me fear that she might have attention deficit disorder.  Her tactile defensiveness and drive to create made me fear that she might be on the autism spectrum (only she was too verbal to be autistic and was a social butterfly).  Her emotional intensity was also an area of intense concern for me.  Teachers began to notice and be critical of her differences.  “She doesn't listen.”  “She never follows directions.”  “She is extremely oppositional.”  I learned to hate teacher/parent conferences.

I decided that it was time to have her tested to find out more about what might be happening with my daughter.  It was then that I found out that she was not just bright - but profoundly gifted.  I also found out in that meeting, that she was gifted in a way that would always make the education system difficult for her.  The sensory challenges made a traditional classroom excruciating.  Her divergent thinking style made the classroom tedious.  And her need to constantly ask questions and challenge those around her would most likely always be viewed as oppositional.  The assessor asked if we could pull her from the public school and enroll her in a special classroom made for these types of children.  At the time, this was something we couldn't afford.  The assessor then stated, “Well, I would try to keep her home as often as possible.”   She also recommended that I take my daughter to see an occupational therapist who specializes in work with sensory processing disorder.  Being gifted was sounding less and less like a blessing. 

That meeting was four years ago.  In that time, I have become a voracious reader on all things related to gifted populations.  I have received training in sensory integration issues, gifted education, and recognizing and understanding issues related to executive skills.  I have learned about the over excitabilities and my daughter's need to create.  I have found a wonderful school for my children where their unique idiosyncrasies are celebrated.  Through this extraordinary education that I have received, I have also begun to better understand my own journey and strengths.  I am not entirely "neuro-typical" either.  I also realized that many of the children who had been referred to me for many years with issues of emotional overwhelm, attention deficits, hyperactivity, and oppositionality were quite possibly also unidentified gifted children who were languishing in an educational system that had never been suited for the way that they learn. 

I remember taking my daughter when she was four to see the Grand Canyon.  The sun was setting and we were racing to make it to the canyon before the park closed.  We hiked to the vista point and stared out over the canyon.  My daughter was mesmerized.  It took lots of coaxing to get her to return to the car so that we could drive to the hotel for the night.  She was asleep when we got there.  I remember scooping her up from her car seat and laying her down on the hotel bed.  She opened her eyes slightly and said, “Mommy.  I believe in God.”  Being that both my husband and I are not very religious, this struck me as slightly curious.  I asked her why.  She said, “Because the Grand Canyon was so beautiful.”  My daughter is still extremely challenging, but she is also utterly amazing. 

This year, I started my own private practice in Austin, Texas.  Although I have worked with a multitude of issues in my sixteen years as a mental health therapist, I knew that it would be important for me to pick one population to specialize in.  I decided that I wanted to focus on talented and gifted adults and children.  Because of my journey, I am deeply aware of the trials and tribulations that comes with the label of "gifted".  Therapists do not receive education regarding high intelligence and how it impacts mental health.  Those incorrect notions that gifted individuals are not needing of help and will be able to succeed because of their gifts is held by many teachers and therapists alike. I would like to make a positive impact on those working professionals who misdiagnose these children and adults because they don't have the education to understand the difference.   And lastly, I wanted to concentrate on gifted youth and adults because I find them amazing.  I love making art, talking, and listening to these divergent expressive thinkers.  I want to help them find their voice, recognize and accept their talents, and understand and cope with their challenges.  And I want to help their parents find ways to live and love their intensity.

I am writing this blog to share information and to have a place for my thoughts.  I am a passionate advocate for this population.  I now understand that "gifted" does not mean that you will always do well in school or succeed in life.  These children and adults are often not the over achievers.  Who knows what amazing potential we are throwing away if we do not change our system to embrace these divergent thinkers, understand their intensity, and challenge them appropriately?