Overexcitability - Imaginational

So now we come to the fifth and last overexcitability (OE), the imaginational.  This is often described as a heightened imagination.  It can manifest itself in a variety of ways.  Many gifted children will have imaginary friends or treat their stuffed animals as if they are real.  They are excellent at creating stories and using their creativity in the pursuit of art, music, or drama.  They will also often pretend that they are someone else.  My daughter has loved to speak with accents since she was about three years old.  She will pretend to be British one moment and French the next.  For the most part, it is an extremely fun part of who she is... but sometimes, it can be a bit frustrating.  Like when I ask her to clean her room, and in a very French accent she tells me, "Your daughter has gone on vacation.  My name is Mimi."  

I feel that the drive to create lives within this OE.  My daughter has been drawing since she was extremely little.  She is prolific.  She will go through a ream of paper in about a week.  The images are all varied and wonderful.  I save as much as I can, but there is a lot of it.   In the morning, I have to find ways to coax her away from her drawing table so that we can go to school.  In the evening, I have to do the same to  make her go to bed.  As an artist myself, I love this about her.  But it can still be frustrating.  When she is angry, she will reach for a precious piece of art that she has made and will threaten to destroy it if her demands are not met.  Her art is her heart.  And she knows that I understand that.  The other day she became so angry that she told me that she was never going to make art again.  And that if she didn't make art, she would surely die.  (Have I mentioned that the imaginational OE child can be prone to exaggeration and high drama?)  I told her that it would make me incredibly sad, but that I knew it was impossible for her to stop making art.  She smiled.  The above drawing was a quick sketch she made the other day.  She told me, "The world is just a big drawing, and we are the drawers."  

As you have probably noticed, with each of these OE there are strengths and challenges.  Children who have over active imaginations often are prone to nightmares.  They can also often mix a little fantasy with their truth, making their accounts of situations sometimes unbelievable.  They love to daydream, which can create difficulties in maintaining attention.  These children and adults can be misdiagnosed with a variety of mental disorders.  Well meaning clinicians might not understand the imaginary friends or the need to keep their stuffed animals with them at all times.  Clinicians also might see ADHD when a child has a rich daydream world and finds the real world dull by comparison.  But to medicate away a child's imagination feels beyond tragic and extremely ill advised.  

Finding ways to support your child's imagination and creativity and at the same time differentiate between what is real and what is fantasy is an important task for the parent of an imaginational OE child.  It is also important to help them stay on track when exciting ideas create a desire to become tangential in their thought processes.  Using a journal as a means to save these ideas for another time is one great way of both honoring the idea, but still requesting focus.  

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Overexcitability... intellectual

Children with an intellectual overexcitability love the process of learning.  They are curious by nature, are constantly asking questions, searching for meanings and patterns, and finding ways to apply their knowledge.  They are also often avid readers.  When they find a subject that they are interested in, they dive in full body with no interest in wading in the shallow end.  They must know every Greek myth, understand all there is to know about dinosaurs, or identify every country where the Snowy Leopard calls home.  They have an amazing capacity to remember vivid details about those subjects that capture their interest.

Another common trait among those who have an intellectual overexcitability, is a focus on moral thinking.  They feel strongly about ethical and moral issues and will often have passionate opinions about issues of social justice.  Although we discussed in the last post how increased feeling of empathy can correlate with a stronger desire for equality, researchers have discovered that often high "justice sensitivity" is most likely connected to logical thinking rather than emotions.  It is important to note that these are not always the same opinions as their parents or teachers, which can create challenges.  This is also one of the reasons that so many people with an intellectual overexcitability might be labeled as "oppositional" or even misdiagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder.  The real difference is that they are not being oppositional for the sole purpose of being oppositional, but rather as a way of forcing conversation.  They will often find it extremely uncomfortable to not share an opinion, even if it is not a popular one or could possibly get them into trouble.  Another difference is that they are not defiant in all situations.  They are also very much able to empathize with those around them and often show a remarkable amount of compassion.  In my work, I have seen children diagnosed by other clinicians with such weighty labels as "oppositional defiant disorder" or even "conduct disorder" and then find that they are spending their spare time helping another student learn how to read, are active animal rights activists, or are giving away their lunch to a student without food.  

Helping the child with an intellectual overexcitability to understand how they are impacting those around them is also necessary to insure that they have positive social relationships.  It can be difficult for friends and teachers if they are constantly being corrected by a well meaning child. It is also difficult for both friends and teachers, when an intensely curious child is constantly interrupting them to ask questions or share information.  The child is in no ways meaning to be disrespectful or disruptive, but simply is excited about learning.  Nevertheless, it can be a challenging behavior.  I have found giving a child a notebook to write down ideas can help a lot in creating a holding place for questions and ideas.  Finding educational programs that allow for independent thought and celebrate curiosity is crucial.  Assisting children in finding ways to answer their own questions is also important, although I must admit these days my daughter is just as inclined to ask Siri a question as she is me. 

Social justice concerns need to be validated.  Exploring ways that your child can create change is an important part of helping the child to feel that they have an impact on their world.  Otherwise, it becomes easy for the child to feel hopeless.  Most communities have lots of volunteering opportunities that you child can get involved in.  And if your child sees a need within the community that is not being addressed, brainstorm ways that they can make a difference.  Here is a list of ten charities created by children. 

Another important task is helping the child find intellectual peers - instead of just age similar peers, because often age similar peers might not be interested in those same things that cause our children joy.  Our children end up feeling rejected and "alien".  My daughter's love of the story of Odysseus is not something shared by most other eight year olds, but when she is talking to a child or an adult who is a lover of Greek mythology, you can see her entire being brightens and suddenly, she doesn't feel so alone.  

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Overexcitability... emotional

This is the overexcitability that can often be the most challenging.  (Did I already say that about one of the other ones?)  And no, I didn't take this picture when my daughter was having an actual tantrum.  This was one of her dramatic reenactments.   The feelings of many gifted children can be intense and overwhelming.  When these children are happy, they are ecstatic.  But unfortunately, many of these children and adults are prone to bouts of extreme depression and anxiety.  Researchers have commented on how "existential depression" is often very common among gifted individuals.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is also very commonly diagnosed among people with higher intelligence.  Both Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla were believed to have suffered from Obsessive Compulsive disorder.

Probably due to this heightened sensitivity, many gifted children and adults are also extremely empathic.  They have strong feelings around issues of fairness and from a very young age are deeply interested in issues of social justice.  Recently, on a family walk one Sunday morning, we passed what was probably the home of a bunch of college students in East Austin.  The yard was strewn with beer bottles and red cups.  My children were outraged that the occupants would have such a blatant disrespect for their environment.  My husband and I had to gently ask them to keep their voices down as we passed the house.  Another example is my son's recent declaration that he is now a vegetarian.  He says that he can't stand that people hurt animals for food.  He is only five. Because he can become very sad at dinner time, we have agreed as a family to not eat meat on certain days of the week out of respect for his beliefs.   This empathic vulnerability makes watching the news difficult.  When my daughter was only three a morning show told the story of someone falling into a large sink hole and dying.  She cried for days.  We haven't really watched morning news shows ever since.  

Often times, because these emotions can seem so overblown and overwrought, as parents, it is very easy to minimize the emotional experiences our young children have.  "This is nothing to get so upset about!"  "Stop crying"  "You have no reason to be angry."  Although these statements are made in an attempt to calm an emotionally overwhelmed child, they actually create confusion and more anxiety.  The child begins to doubt their own experiences.  They begin to judge their feelings.  And on top of that, it doesn't really work to tell someone to calm down anyway.   Validating feelings is a much better strategy, but it can be difficult when you are an emotional parent!  So, I will often notice when I am getting just as emotional as my daughter or son, take a deep breath, and remember the goal.  Then I might ask, "Are you feeling.............?  I might be feeling that way too if that happened to me.  What can we do right now to help you feel better?"  Helping the child to label the emotion, validate the emotion, and then talk through coping strategies not only will help them weather their emotional storm - but it also provides them the tools necessary to weather the next one.  

Next up - The Intellectual Overexcitability!  

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Overexcitability... Sensual

Did you know that they sell socks without any seams?  These pricey little socks are coveted by many a parent who has a child with a sensual overexcitability.  First, let me state that sensual has nothing to do with "sexual" but rather having to do with the senses.  The best way to describe someone with a sensual overexcitability is to say that they are extremely sensitive to their sensory experiences.

This can be exhibited in many different ways.  For some, it may be more tactile defensiveness.  They might have issues with different textures or if things feel too tight.  This isn't merely a dislike of tags in clothing.  The level of distress experienced by these individuals is well outside what we would view as typical.  My daughter would cry, scream, and act as if she were in pain when encountering something that she perceived as uncomfortable.  She could not walk across a playground or the beach without stopping every few minutes to empty out the contents of her shoes.  As an artist, I would always dread when teachers would want us to work with chalk pastel or charcoal.  The feeling of the material in my hand would literally make my skin crawl.  I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

For others, sensual overexcitability might show up in issues around food.   These children are notoriously picky eaters.  There are so many senses that go into eating a piece of food.  The texture could be too mushy.  The smell might be offensive.  The look might seem disturbing.  The temperature could be uncomfortable.  My daughter does not have this sensitivity... but my son does.  There is no amount of bribery on the planet that will make him eat certain types of foods.  And the issues can sometimes feel extremely arbitrary.  He will not eat melted cheese.   Cheese of a non-melted variety is fine though.  We have walked into restaurants only to have to leave immediately because he smells fish. We don't eat out very often.  Growing up, I had this sensitivity too.  I think my mother finds it amusing that I am now having to deal with it around my son.  It is difficult on mothers when your child refuses to eat.

Another sensitivity maybe around sounds.  I have known many a child who has not been able to use a school restroom because of the sound of the fan or the flushing toilet.  For others, every sound distracts them and makes it difficult to focus.  If an air conditioner or a heater kicks on while I am in a meeting, it will take much doing for me to readjust my attention back to the meeting at hand.   For many children with this sensitivity, the sound of such things as the fire alarm can feel excruciating.  

A visual sensitivity might manifest in everything from feeling overwhelmed in visually chaotic environments to not being able to tolerate for one moment the sun shining in one's eyes.  People would always comment about how my son, even as an infant, would keep on a pair of sunglasses.  Although this might be unusual for most typical children, for a child with a visual sensitivity, sunglasses become not only important but necessary.  

On a positive note, the sensual overexcitabilities have been linked with an increased artistic aptitude. Perhaps the intensity of their senses creates perceptions that spark creativity.  Children with these sensitivities can become easily engrossed in a beautiful piece of music or in looking at a piece of artwork.  If you have a child with this overexcitability, it is important to find ways to utilize the senses as a means of coping. When my children were younger, we would keep a "sensory box" that was filled with items that use sensory information to comfort.  This can include things such as scented clay, squeeze toys, a sensory brush, a soft stuffed animal, bubbles, to beautiful pictures or something that plays music.  If you find that your child has many or possibly all of these sensitivities - and it is making day to day living challenging, it might prove important to have the child evaluated for sensory processing disorder.  Occupational therapy can often help children adapt so that they might better cope with the world at large.  It made a huge difference for my daughter.  

Art therapy can also be super beneficial when working with a child with sensory overexcitabilities.  Through the use of the art materials, discomfort can be explored in the therapy room and coping strategies can be learned in a safe environment.

As parents, these sensitivities can be very challenging.   I can remember my disappointment when I would purchase a beautiful little dress or pair of shoes only to find out that my daughter would refuse to wear them.  And it is frustrating to spend money at restaurants when my son doesn't even touch his plate.  The occupational therapist my daughter saw once told me that even though I may find my children's reactions to such things as histrionic, for my children they are real feelings.   The pain that they are feeling is real.  It isn't something that punishing or rewarding can fix.  It just is the way that they are wired.  Knowing this helps quite a lot.  And our family has learned to make adaptations so that the struggles are less intense.  I use special "ouchless" hair brushes on both my daughter and my son's hair to minimize the amount of screaming.  I found a school that allows my daughter to run around bare footed whenever she pleases.  I have found a small handful of foods that my son tolerates without a battle.  And I have learned that turning socks inside out makes them wearable for my daughter.  I have also learned that when you turn a pair of socks inside out, they are actually a lot more comfortable.  

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Over-excitability... Psycho-motor

I thought what better way to start then by discussing the overexcitabilities, which are often connected with giftedness. There are many researchers that now believe that looking at the overexcitabilities is a more accurate way of identifying gifted populations than most IQ tests.  Kazimierz Dabrowski, a Polish psychiatrist, psychologist, and physician, is the creator of the “Theory of Positive Disintegration.”  In this theory, he identifies five different overexcitabilities, which are innate intensities that center around five basic traits:  Psycho-motor, Sensual, Imaginational, Intellectual, and Emotional.  Today, I will begin by discussing the Psycho-motor Overexcitability.

Psycho-motor Overexcitability

This is the trait that most often gets misdiagnosed as ADHD by well meaning therapists and teachers.  Even some of our relatives might urge us to get our child to a pediatrician to have them assessed and potentially medicated when they display this overexcitability.  A post discussing the extensive issues with an ADHD diagnosis would be extremely long and not what I want to focus on in this post.  I will say that there is a lot of disagreement within the psychological community about the diagnosis.  With nearly 12% of school aged children, and 20% of teen-aged boys being diagnosed with the disorder, more and more clinicians are concerned about the overdiagnosis of ADHD.  And some clinicians and theorists, such as Dr. Bruce Perry, even doubt the validity of the diagnosis at all.

So what is psycho-motor overexcitability?  Some describe it as an overabundance of physical energy that the child or adult must find ways to express.  The child who exhibits this overexcitability might be extremely competitive, impulsive, and take lots of risks.  They love activities that others might find physically exhausting.  They love to be in motion, whether it be bouncing, climbing, rocking, or tapping their foot.   I remember that as a very young child, my daughter loved the swing on the playground.  It would take all kinds of bribery to get her to relinquish her swing so we could go home.  Children with this excitability also might speak very rapidly and have difficulty with sleep.   When there is no place for the energy to be released, it can become challenging for the child to find ways to cope.  It can also be extremely difficult to manage their behaviors in a traditional classroom setting.   

There is an overlap with this excitability and some of the research on sensory processing disorder, which we will discuss in a later post.   But one thing that is important to note here is how effective some of the strategies used for SPD (sensory processing disordered) kids can be for kids who exhibit psycho-motor overexcitability.  Occupational therapists will often talk about a "sensory diet."  Sensory diets have nothing to do with food.  They have everything to do with finding healthy adaptive ways to help children and adults cope.  Sensory diets are often adapted depending upon which sensory issue the child is dealing with.  Some of the activities that would be useful for a child with psycho-motor overexcitability can include everything from pushing, jumping, pulling, spinning, and even chewing gum.  Here is a great list of sensory activities.   In schools, these activities might include taking a heavy book to the library, erasing the board, or passing out papers.  The goal of the activity is to help the child find a way to break up more passive activities with active ones.  I remember my child's occupational therapist trying to explain to her kindergarten teacher what it was like for my daughter to sit still for longer than fifteen minutes.  She told the teacher that in order for my daughter to sit  completely still, she would have to dissociate to such a great degree that she would not be able to hear the teacher let alone learn anything.  

It is also important to note that research is pretty clear that sitting still isn't really a great way for anyone to learn.  Our bodies are meant to move.  As a professor, I can remember the looks my students would give if I spoke for longer than twenty minutes.  Eyes would be glazed over and I understood that learning had stopped.  So, I would try very hard to break up the lessons with discussion, art activities, role plays, and breaks.  I encouraged doodling and asking questions.   If I understood that my graduate students needed this type of environment in order to most effectively learn, shouldn't we grant the same thing to young students who have an even shorter attention span?  

I thought I would end with this wonderful video by Sir Ken Robinson on changing educational paradigms.  If you haven't seen it before, I can't recommend it enough.  

So, that is psycho-motor overexcitability in a nutshell!  Next post, we will talk about the sensual overexcitability which will also bring us to an even deeper discussion of Sensory Processing Disorder. 

Thanks for visiting!  Please feel free to leave a comment or question... and I will do my best to answer.  

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My Journey

Hi there!  Welcome to my blog.  This is my very first post, which is both exciting and a bit frightening!  This blog is dedicated to all gifted children and adults and the people that love and support them.

Like many others before me, I became interested in the issues related to gifted populations because I was trying to understand my child.  She rolled around before she was three months old.  She walked at nine months old.  At one she spoke well over a hundred words.  But much of her development I believed was due to her temperament.  She needed to always be moving, doing, and investigating.  She rarely ever slept and experienced intense emotions that made for rough parenting early on.  Her sensitivity extended itself to her tactile senses.  It would sometimes take ten tries before I could put her socks on her in a way that she could tolerate - and that was even after we had purchased the seamless variety.   She hated all tags.  There were boxes of beautiful dresses that she refused to wear because there was a seam that was irritating.  I would often worry that the police might come because of the amount of screaming that would happen when I even touched her hair with a brush.

Aside from the sensitivity, I first realized there was something very unique about my daughter just after her second birthday, when she began making art.  I had always felt like it was important to allow her the space to be creative.  She had crayons, markers, and paper readily available… and as long as she didn't draw on the floors or walls, I was happy.  She became a driven artist.  She would go through reams of paper.  It was at two that she began drawing figures and animals.  As she grew older, her artwork became more and more complex.  We would bargain with her in the mornings, so that she would leave her artwork and go to daycare… and then we would bargain again at night, so that she would leave her artwork to go to bed.  The idea of not making art was intolerable to her.  Teachers would often tell me that they had never seen a child so young draw with such proficiency.  And it was easy to understand why she was so skilled.  She was constantly practicing.  While her classmates were learning how to draw circles, our daughter would be drawing entire fairy tales with evil witches, dragons, and princesses.   In the beginning, I tried to save all of her artwork, but quickly, this became an impossible feat.

As a mental health therapist whose specialty has been children, I was accustomed to diagnosing children.  And like many therapist/parents before me - my own child was no exception.  Her constant movement made me fear that she might have attention deficit disorder.  Her tactile defensiveness and drive to create made me fear that she might be on the autism spectrum (only she was too verbal to be autistic and was a social butterfly).  Her emotional intensity was also an area of intense concern for me.  Teachers began to notice and be critical of her differences.  “She doesn't listen.”  “She never follows directions.”  “She is extremely oppositional.”  I learned to hate teacher/parent conferences.

I decided that it was time to have her tested to find out more about what might be happening with my daughter.  It was then that I found out that she was not just bright - but profoundly gifted.  I also found out in that meeting, that she was gifted in a way that would always make the education system difficult for her.  The sensory challenges made a traditional classroom excruciating.  Her divergent thinking style made the classroom tedious.  And her need to constantly ask questions and challenge those around her would most likely always be viewed as oppositional.  The assessor asked if we could pull her from the public school and enroll her in a special classroom made for these types of children.  At the time, this was something we couldn't afford.  The assessor then stated, “Well, I would try to keep her home as often as possible.”   She also recommended that I take my daughter to see an occupational therapist who specializes in work with sensory processing disorder.  Being gifted was sounding less and less like a blessing. 

That meeting was four years ago.  In that time, I have become a voracious reader on all things related to gifted populations.  I have received training in sensory integration issues, gifted education, and recognizing and understanding issues related to executive skills.  I have learned about the over excitabilities and my daughter's need to create.  I have found a wonderful school for my children where their unique idiosyncrasies are celebrated.  Through this extraordinary education that I have received, I have also begun to better understand my own journey and strengths.  I am not entirely "neuro-typical" either.  I also realized that many of the children who had been referred to me for many years with issues of emotional overwhelm, attention deficits, hyperactivity, and oppositionality were quite possibly also unidentified gifted children who were languishing in an educational system that had never been suited for the way that they learn. 

I remember taking my daughter when she was four to see the Grand Canyon.  The sun was setting and we were racing to make it to the canyon before the park closed.  We hiked to the vista point and stared out over the canyon.  My daughter was mesmerized.  It took lots of coaxing to get her to return to the car so that we could drive to the hotel for the night.  She was asleep when we got there.  I remember scooping her up from her car seat and laying her down on the hotel bed.  She opened her eyes slightly and said, “Mommy.  I believe in God.”  Being that both my husband and I are not very religious, this struck me as slightly curious.  I asked her why.  She said, “Because the Grand Canyon was so beautiful.”  My daughter is still extremely challenging, but she is also utterly amazing. 

This year, I started my own private practice in Austin, Texas.  Although I have worked with a multitude of issues in my sixteen years as a mental health therapist, I knew that it would be important for me to pick one population to specialize in.  I decided that I wanted to focus on talented and gifted adults and children.  Because of my journey, I am deeply aware of the trials and tribulations that comes with the label of "gifted".  Therapists do not receive education regarding high intelligence and how it impacts mental health.  Those incorrect notions that gifted individuals are not needing of help and will be able to succeed because of their gifts is held by many teachers and therapists alike. I would like to make a positive impact on those working professionals who misdiagnose these children and adults because they don't have the education to understand the difference.   And lastly, I wanted to concentrate on gifted youth and adults because I find them amazing.  I love making art, talking, and listening to these divergent expressive thinkers.  I want to help them find their voice, recognize and accept their talents, and understand and cope with their challenges.  And I want to help their parents find ways to live and love their intensity.

I am writing this blog to share information and to have a place for my thoughts.  I am a passionate advocate for this population.  I now understand that "gifted" does not mean that you will always do well in school or succeed in life.  These children and adults are often not the over achievers.  Who knows what amazing potential we are throwing away if we do not change our system to embrace these divergent thinkers, understand their intensity, and challenge them appropriately?  

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